When it comes round to Christmas/birthday time, people are always asking you what you would like to receive. It’s like being on a gameshow where they give you 1 minute to decide what you would really like to receive. If you can’t decide within that time then you get the booby prize…a £10 gift card to WHSmith.
But in the run up to Christmas there are millions of adverts, on TV and in the shops, showing the perfect gift for you. Yet it completely leaves your brain when you are asked what you would like. This is why lists are a very good thing.
With a list you can just whip it out when the situation calls for it, and confuse your loved one by making them choose what to buy you. Hence you are the creator of an evil game where they have to either a) ring up other relatives and organise who buys what, or b) they have to just randomly buy from the list, and hope nobody else gets you the same gift as them. It makes present unwrapping even more tense for those who go for option b *evil cackles*
But every year I make these lists, whether internal or external, of all the items that I could possibly want for Christmas (whilst still keeping them within a certain budget). These are usually things like the complete series of Angel on DVD or a New England Patriots’ Jersey, i.e. items which I am not likely to buy for myself throughout the year.
However I get these little fleeting thoughts all year round of items which would be useful to me, but since they are fleeting thoughts then I always forget to buy them (and hence are not items I would buy myself). But since my birthday and Christmas are so close together, I’ve got no chance of getting them anytime soon; plus if I asked for these items then my loved ones would laugh as if it was some big joke, and I’d end up with that gift voucher all the same.
You see all I want for Christmas (no, not my two front teeth this time!) are a back scratcher and a nail file. Not too much to ask is it?
I want a back scratcher that even though it leaves your back feeling like it should be bleeding, it’s still been satisfyingly scratched. If it could come with a holster too, so that I could satisfy my scratching urges whilst on the move, then that would be perfect.
And a simple cheap nail file…if you can’t get a single one then I’ll take a pack of three…I’m not fussy. I just need to stop my nails from becoming so squiffy that I fear putting on tights in case my nail gets ripped off in the process.
So anytime anyone wants to buy me a gift in the next few years then please think of back scratchers and nail files. Even though I say I want a Nintendo Wii with Motion Plus and Wii Fit…I really do just want Superdrug’s finest nail file.